Kevin Hart’s vegan fast-food eatery joins the plant-based food scene

The list of celebrity fronted restaurants that opened (and closed) over the years is long. A brief list would include: Nyla (Britney Spears), Fashion Café (a platoon of supermodels), Madre’s (Jennifer Lopez), Dive! (Steven Spielberg), both Beso and She (Eva Longoria), Lario’s on the Beach (Gloria Estefan), Alan Hale’s Lobster Barrel, Xavier Cugat’s Cugie’s, and both Mickey’s Weenie World and Mickey’s Potato Fantasy (Mickey Rooney).

And that’s just for starters!

About the only celebrity owned restaurant that came close to succeeding was Kenny Rogers’ Roasters, which doesn’t exist any longer in the United States, but can still be found all over Southeast Asia.

And now, to this culinary patchwork quilt, let us add the latest celebrity to wager the power of his name on an eatery: stand-up comedian and actor Kevin Hart’s fast-food vegan Hart House — the first of which opened just north of LAX, not far from a wildly popular In-N-Out Burger, where the line of cars never seems to end.

At Hart House, the line is a lot shorter. And indeed, you don’t order from your car, you’ve got to actually park and go in — which is such a retro notion for a restaurant that loudly proclaims it’s all about the future of food.

The people behind Hart House have optimistically declared this spot to be the first of 10 they hope to open, with two more under construction in Hollywood.

Hart himself says his diet is “mostly plant-based,” which suggests plenty of wiggle room. He’s an investor in Beyond Meat. And as a spokesman for his cooking, he’s as relentless as those credit card ads of his that seem to be on TV 24/7. He’s added to the wiggle by saying, “Just because you make the decision to go and try plant-based, doesn’t mean you have to [be engulfed] in that world. Learn it, understand it, and see if there are benefits that work for you.”

The website for Hart House tells us that it’s “committed to the future of food and our overall well-being. We’re on a mission that’s simple: to make the food you know and love better for you, your wallet and the planet.”

The restaurant’s promise is: “No cholesterol, no antibiotics, no hormones, no artificial colors, no preservatives, no corn syrup, no trans fat.” To which he added, “As someone who has been preaching ‘Health is Wealth,’ building Hart House felt like the natural evolution of my flexitarian lifestyle and my business ecosystem. I’m beyond proud of this…industry-changing delicious, sustainable food that delivers ‘can’t-believe-it’ flavor in every bite.”

The small printed menu, and the walls of the restaurant, are filled with encouraging aphorisms, making Hart House seem part fast-food eatery…and part house of culinary worship. We learn that the food, “Rather than being about ‘anyone’…it’s for ‘everyone’!” “This is not just fast food, but food that takes us faster into the future.” “This is the change you’ve been craving.” It’s half meal, half cheerleading session.

And, I do wish the food lived up to the rah-rah attitude. But far as I can tell, this is a generic burger and fries, crispy tots and chicken nuggets eatery. Based on the crowds, it’s the In-N-Out down the street that’s “for everyone!”

That said, though there’s nothing wrong with the food at Hart House — except that the generally bland plant-based burgers and chicken nuggets really need any of the six Dippin’ Sauces to give them needed flavor. (The Hunny Mustard and Sweet Heat were especially useful!)

This is plant-based burgers and chicken that’s pretty much like the plant-based burgers and chicken I’ve tasted elsewhere in recent years. (And for the record, they’re “chick’n” and “burg’r”s!) There’s a Caesar salad with “parmesan-style” cheese. And a Kale Crunch salad with nothing in it other than vegetables.

Which brings me to my ongoing gripe with the world of “plant-based” cooking. I like vegetables. I grew up eating vegetables. More often than not, I eat vegetables at home, and it’s the rare restaurant meal where I don’t order a vegetable. Vegetables are our friends. I was a closet vegetarian (or at least flexitarian) long before it became trendy. Always have been, always will be.

I don’t understand the concept of vegetables dressing up for Halloween as if they were meat. If I want a vegetable meal, I order vegetables. Recognizable vegetables. Look, there’s broccoli! And over there, Brussels sprouts! Vegetables are a good thing. Vegetables pretending to be chicken or beef? Why?

Hart House is a noble notion. There are good thoughts and wishes behind it. It may yet become the Next Big Thing. But after my lunch at Hart House, I walked across the street to Ralphs and bought some bags of vegetables. I had them for dinner. I didn’t pretend they were a steak.

Merrill Shindler is a Los Angeles-based freelance dining critic. Email mreats@aol.com.

Hart House

Rating: 2 stars
Address: 8901 S. Sepulveda Blvd., Westchester (also at 602 W. Huntington Drive, Monrovia; coming soon to Hollywood)
Information: 213-320-5900, www.myharthouse.com
Cuisine: Vegan Fast Food
When: Lunch and dinner, every day
Details: Soft drinks; order at the counter
Atmosphere: The first of what’s hoped to be a chain of vegan fast-food eateries, fronted by actor Kevin Hart, featuring a modern room with lots of admonitions to change the way we eat — “Planted-based for the people.”
Prices: About $15 per person
On the menu: 6 Burgers & Sandwiches ($5.99-$7.99), 6 Meals ($10.49-$12.49), Nuggets ($4.99-$12.49), Two Salads ($2.99-$6.99), 3 Sides ($2.49-$2.99), 6 Dipping Sauces (no charge)
Credit cards: MC, V
What the stars mean: 4 (World class! Worth a trip from anywhere!), 3 (Most excellent, even exceptional. Worth a trip from anywhere in Southern California.), 2 (A good place to go for a meal. Worth a trip from anywhere in the neighborhood.) 1 (If you’re hungry, and it’s nearby, but don’t get stuck in traffic going.) 0 (Honestly, not worth writing about.)

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